Sam Zell:  "Capital is Raining on my Head" (2006)

The Song:Lyrics to his 2006 Greeting Card (to the tune of “Raindrops keep falling on my head”)Capital is raining on my head.Everything is liquid, we’re awash with cash to spend -The flood has drowned returns,Because assets keep liquefying, monetizing, raining…So I just did me some Econ 101.Seems like we’ve gotten out ofEquilibrium:Liquidity abounds,But relative yields keep falling as more capital keeps raining.What lies ahead: we’re old -The western world is aging, we’ll need incomeFrom our pension funds.Where’s it coming from?The yields we see won’t fuel no party.Tho’ capital is raining on my headInterest and inflation rates are narrowing their spreadTo half what textbooks said -The ratios that we’re used toHave been squeezed by so much cash flow.The world is monetizing faster every day,Illiquid assets alchemizedTo currency in playCompeting for return.Black gold prices rising, still more money chasing assets…And there’s one thing I know -To get things back to normalIt’s a long haulThat’s global.Yields won’t improve ’til growth soaks up this liquid freefall.Capital keeps raining on my headSo much is out there that the world is out of whack.When will we see balance back?It’s gonna be a long time ’til returns meet expectationsWe need to be prepared for slim annuities...The Dance:Sam Zell is selling his Equity Office Properties to the Blackstone Group for an estimated 20 billion dollars in cash and assumption of another 16 billion in debt. Zell, the world famous real estate tycoon from Chicago has been one of the leading faces for commercial real estate in the past few decades.The deal is expected to be the largest real estate deal in history. November 20, 2006(Comment:  This is not a parody.  Both are 100% true.   No kidding.)

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